Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ashton's birth story! (Warning: It's long)

As I sit down to write the birth story of my son Ashton, I am constantly blown away that God could have blessed me with something so perfect.  The love a mother has for her child cannot be compared to anything else in this world.  Every day, I love him more than I did the day before.  His birth was the most amazing, powerful, spiritual, and magical event in my life.  I’m not sure anything else will ever come close to it.  So without further ado, here is the birth story of Ashton Brody Neil Jamison.

When my husband and I decided we were going to get off of birth control and let God bless us with a child when He wanted us to have a child, we weren’t expecting to get pregnant so fast.  In fact, I had been told by my OB/GYN that I would probably need fertility treatments to conceive.  I wasn’t ovulating on my own so she wanted to run some tests to see if Yaz (which I took for 12 months) had damaged my ovaries.  If you don’t ovulate, there’s no reason to have a period so when I was late or skipped a period, I didn’t think anything of it until a pregnancy test came back positive.

April 23rd at 5:23am, the first pregnancy test came back positive.  Two more positives later, my husband was finally convinced we were having a baby.  Immediately, we started doing research.  We decided we wanted an all-natural birth with a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) at a birthing center.  We later changed to a home birth after much research and prayer knowing I would be most comfortable at home.  We interviewed a midwife, toured the birthing center, and decided we would hire her.  We had a dating sonogram done to see exactly how far along I was on the 29th.  During that sonogram, they said the baby was measuring 8 weeks, 3 days.  When I asked if that was based on 40 week term pregnancy or if that was the gestational age (Gestational length of pregnancy is 38 weeks – 40 week full term pregnancy is 38 weeks gestation plus 2 weeks prior to conception based on the fact that most women ovulate on day 14 after the 1st day of their last period), the sonographer told me that was gestational age which put the due date a little less than 30 weeks away.  I looked on the calendar and determined the conception date to be February 27th and based on that, the due date was November 20th, 2011.

The pregnancy had its’ ups and downs.  Morning sickness (all day sickness more like it) was pretty rough but went away about half way thru my 2nd trimester.  I started taking weekly prenatal yoga classes as well as practicing at home when I could.  I don’t know how I would have made it thru my pregnancy and labor without these classes.  Not only did it keep me in shape, kept me flexible, taught me endurance, and gave me strength, I also met some wonderful women who were also planning all natural births.  The support and sense of community within the group was amazing and I couldn’t imagine going through pregnancy without it.  So many of these women will hold a special place in my heart for the roll they played at such an important time in my life.
I met several amazing and wonderful women through the birth center.  Looking back, I see God ordained everything that happened during my pregnancy for a reason.  After a series of events that transpired, rather late in my pregnancy nonetheless (38 weeks), my husband and I had been praying and seeking God about finding another midwife.  While it wasn’t anything personal, being able to completely trust your birth team is one of the most important parts in planning a home birth.  God always answers prayer and blessed us with a midwife that was a perfect fit for us and our dream.  She was a God send and I could not imagine giving birth without her.  With everything changed, we felt a peace and were now waiting on Little A to make his or her appearance.
Contractions had been off and on for the last few weeks.  I had been feeling lots of sharp pain in my cervix.  On November 19th at my 40 week prenatal visit, we had a cervical exam done.  I was dilated 2cm and 70% effaced.  No doubt that was the result of the sharp pain I had been feeling.  The baby was low and it seemed like things weren’t too far away.  November 20th came and went, Thanksgiving came and went, still no baby.  41 week mark… nothing.  I had acupuncture done on the 27th that made contractions pick up but slowed down after a few hours.

December 3rd, a contraction woke me up at about 8:15am.  It was enough to take my breath away.  They continued every 15 minutes or so.  I got up and started doing a few last minute things to get ready for my baby’s birth.  I called our midwife to let her know, and it worked out great because we already had a home visit planned for that day.  I labored on my birthing ball, in the shower, tried to lie down and sleep a little but the contractions kept waking me up.  The midwife got there and checked me, the baby and I were both doing great and Little A had dropped to a +2 position (Woohoo!) so she decided to stay.  Greg got the birthing tub set up.  The contractions were mostly consistent now, about 4-5 minutes apart and seemed to be getting more intense.  We called our friend, Christina, who we picked as our labor support to come out, the midwife called her assistant and we contacted the photographer (who was a total answer to prayer and blessing from the Lord, something we weren’t planning on having but God provided).  Up and down the stairs I went, squatting at the top, squatting at the bottom.  Pelvic tilts, hands and knees, I was doing everything to get this baby to come.  Lots of bloody show.  We were getting excited.  We filled the tub up, watched Bill Cosby as Himself, and fellowshipped.  It was nice to be able to have such awesome companionship during early labor.  A little after midnight, they slowed back down enough for me to be able to sleep.  Greg and I crawled in bed to get some rest.

December 4th - contractions started to pick up again and woke me up.  About as soon as they’d start to fall, I’d fall back asleep again.  Time at this point was a blur.  I was pretty exhausted after going through 24+ hours of contractions.  I was ready to have this baby.  More stairs, more squatting, more birthing ball, more bloody show.  That evening we tried some black and blue cohosh.  That kicked the contractions up quite a bit.  They started coming on, one after another, after another.  They were so close together and so intense, I could barely catch my breath.  I remember pulling on the towel hanging on the towel rack in our bathroom and praying I didn’t rip the towel rack out of the wall.  Into the tub I went and ohh did it feel like heaven.  The warmth of the water, the weightlessness.  Why had I not been in there the last day and half?  Not sure how long I stayed in there, but the pain of the contractions seemed to vanish as I moved around in the pool.  Fearful that the water would cause labor to slow down again, I decided to get out and lay in bed for a bit.  I had some of the best sleep of my life.  Contractions woke me up but I was able to fall asleep immediately afterwards.
At about 8am on Monday, December 5th, the contractions completely stopped.  I had progressed to 5cm.  Thinking I was 42 weeks, 2 days and had been in labor for 48 hours when it decided to stall, we were talking about our options.  We were preparing for a transfer to Harris Methodist Hospital in Ft. Worth.  My husband didn’t feel at peace with going to the hospital just yet, so after talking to the midwife, we decided to have a biophysical profile sonogram done to see what was going on and check everything out.  In the process of getting together information before we headed to the sonogram, we found out the lady who did the 1st dating sonogram told me incorrectly.  8 weeks, 3 days wasn’t based on gestational age, it was based on 40 weeks.  My due date wasn’t November 20th, it was December 7th.  What a relief to know I wasn’t passed my due date.  We had the biophysical sonogram done and everything checked out great.  Little A was healthy and in position, the placenta was a grade 2 with very little calcification, and there was enough fluid.  Little A’s head wasn’t tucked down yet, which explains why in 48 hours of labor, I had only progressed 3cm.  But since the baby and I were healthy and I wasn’t past due, we didn’t have to transfer.  Little A just needed to tuck his head in order to apply equal pressure on my cervix during contractions to cause me to finish dilating and effacing.  As we were in the process of the sonogram, Little A finally tucked his/her head.  I could feel a definite difference in the pressure on my cervix.  Now, we just had to wait.

I had a few contractions throughout the rest of the day on Monday, but nothing substantial.  Tuesday was pretty quiet, too.  I was exhausted from the weekend and just wanted to sleep which is exactly what I did.  Wednesday I felt a little better, still tired.  I slept as much as I could, cleaned the house a little bit, and did some laundry.  Although it was obvious little A had moved… I felt like I had been riding a horse for 24 hours straight and was walking bowlegged.  (I laugh about it now but it wasn’t very funny at the time, it was rather uncomfortable.)  That’s a good sign, I thought.  At about 8:30pm that evening after my mom had left, I was walking across our apartment to go pee when I felt a contraction and then a small gush of fluid.  My water just broke!  No, I must of just peed myself, Little A’s due date is today and most first time moms go 41 weeks, 2+ days.  I told Greg and he followed me into the bathroom.  I knew it wasn’t pee because I was still holding the urge to pee but fluid was coming out a little bit at a time.  In denial that I was ever going to have this baby and that I would remain pregnant forever, I brushed it off and told Greg it was nothing.  I finished up and walked back into the living room where I felt another gush of fluid.  This time when I made it to the bathroom, it was obvious my water had broken.  There were small pieces of vernix in the fluid.  I texted the midwife to let her know (although trying not to get excited since it was a small leak and I knew your amniotic sac could reseal if it’s just a leak).  Rest, drink lots and lots of fluids, and monitor your temperature was her orders – so that’s exactly what I did.  We finished up everything we needed to do to prepare for our home birth and went to bed.  Not a single contraction the rest of the night and into Thursday.

Thursday, December 8th, I laid around and poured as much fluid down my throat as I thought was humanly possible.  Still leaking fluid, although it was getting less and less.  Not one contraction.  I was starting to feel like I was going crazy and that this baby would never come.  I had thought that maybe the bag was resealing.  I laid down on the couch to watch Dr. Phil (my secret addiction).

At 3:30pm, a contraction hit.  I felt nauseated, hot, weak, and could feel the surge of hormones and endorphins.  I took my temperature, I wasn’t running a fever.  I noted the contraction.  Another one at 3:40pm, I noted that one - 10 minutes apart.  3:48pm – 8 minutes, 3:54pm – 6 minutes.  Oh man, they’re really picking up.  I texted Greg and told him this might be it and he might need to leave work.  He’s on stand-by.  3:57pm – 3 minutes, 3:59pm – 2 minutes, 4:01pm - 2 minutes, 4:02pm – 1 minute, 4:04pm – 2 minutes.  This is it.  I called Greg and he answered just as soon as another contraction hit.  He heard me working through the contraction and said he’s on his way home.  Thank God he only works 15 minutes from home, because the contractions kept coming every 2 minutes or less and were getting stronger.  Once Greg got home, he immediately called the midwife and notified the photographer.  I had texted Christina. She called, talked to Greg and headed our way.  Greg started filling the birthing tub, and oh man I couldn’t wait to get in the water.  Time blurred together at this point.  I texted my sister to notify the family, called my dear friend and sister Heather for some emotional support while Greg was getting everything ready.  Christina got there, and I was so happy to see her.  I was able to relax quite a bit.  She helped Greg get everything ready so he could take the role of my emotional support.  The photographer made it there next.  Her presence seemed to bring even more of a sense of peace.  The contractions were not at all what I expected.  They were more like surges.  It was a rush of hormones and a tightening in your uterus.  Once the contraction peaked, you could feel a surge of endorphins that made you feel somewhat lightheaded as the contraction started falling.  It was kind of like a high feeling coming down and in between contractions.  The contractions were painful and intense, but not unbearable.  They had a beginning, a peak, and then a decline.  You had a chance to work up to the most intense part and a chance to get your bearings afterwards.  The midwife and her assistant arrived, she listened to the baby, took my blood pressure and heart rate.  Everything was fine and little A was doing great. Not long after, the tub had enough water for me to be comfortable in.  I couldn’t get in fast enough.  The water felt so amazing.  I remember the contractions felt less than a third of what they felt out of the water.  One contraction at a time, I kept telling myself.  I didn’t think of how many contractions I already had, didn’t think of the next one or the next hundred I’d have to go through, I kept myself focused on the current contraction.  Relax and release.  Breathe.  My body was made for this moment.  No pain is greater than me because it is coming from me.  These were affirmations I kept telling myself, working through each contraction as they came.  I had a list of scriptures the midwife read to me.  Such a peace, calmness, and strength came over me after hearing those verses.  My body was made for this, God created me to give birth to this blessing.  I had to completely fall into and embrace my weakness in order for this to be the spiritual, empowering, and healing birth Greg and I had wanted and prayed for.  One verse (not a verse I wrote down) came to mind and I clung to that verse through every contraction and in every prayer thereafter.  “…Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me but He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made strong in weakness.’  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness… for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  It is one of my favorite passages of scripture where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh.  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)  Many struggles in my life, God has brought me back to that passage.  In this emotional and mental struggle of labor, God brought me to this passage yet again.  He reminded me that no matter what He brings me to, He has to bring me to a point of utter surrender so that in my weakness, His strength and glory shines.  That was my dream and prayer for this birth of my son or daughter – that His strength and His glory would shine through me in bringing this blessing He was trusting me with into this world.  At that point, I understood and accepted that God would have to give me the power and the strength to accomplish this task.  How faithful He is to answer prayer.  I quoted that scripture, prayed, and moaned through each contraction.  Never once did I yell or scream out in pain, never once did I say I couldn’t do this.  I had total confidence in the Lord, in my labor support, in my husband, and in my body that I could do this.  I moved through the contractions. Mostly on my knees, leaning over the tub and holding on to my husband’s hands.  I would stare into his eyes and he’d breathe with me.  I was drawing from his strength and the positive affirmations from my birth team.  Christina was bringing me water and drinks, and nothing ever tasted or felt so good going down.  Cold rags felt great.  Being able to move, sway.  I found moaning in a deep, low moan relaxed my pelvic floor.  It was easier to focus on moaning low than on relaxing so that’s exactly what I did.  Low moans and noises felt great.  I could feel my baby moving down, I noticed the contractions were getting more intense.  “That’s great!” I could hear my midwife say as a moan would deepen or a noise would change pitch.  At one point I remember my husband asking, “why is that great?” and her response of, “she’s relaxed and making great progress.”  Little words of encouragement that went such a long way.  Christina and Michelle looking at me saying, “You’re doing fantastic.  Keep breathing.”  It was such an empowering experience.  Greg finally got into the tub with me, and just his presence was enough support.  He was so amazing and strong throughout it all.  He was the best labor support I could have ever asked for.

Out of the blue, I felt my body push.  It startled me a little bit and I told my midwife that my body was pushing but I didn’t feel a need to push.  She told me to check myself and see if I could feel my baby.  I checked and could feel my baby’s head.  I felt all around it, I was completely dilated but felt a small cervical lip at the top part.  Greg then checked and felt our baby’s head too.  The midwife came during the next contraction and helped pull the cervical lip over the head.  Then the pushing started.  My body immediately took control and started pushing without me.  I had made it through transition and didn’t even realize I was in it.  I didn’t have to bear down and push, but it felt so much better to so that’s what I did.  I had no idea how long I had been in labor, time seemed to fly by.  I focused on one contraction at a time, one push at a time.  I remember at one point the sheer exhaustion and wondering if I had enough strength to actually push my baby out.  After every push, I asked God for enough strength to make it through the next push.  He answered every single prayer.  He gave me enough strength to push again, and enough for the next push.  All of a sudden, something felt wrong.  I could feel Little A moving down with each push, but would move right back up.  “Something’s not right.  I feel like something is wrong.”  I told my midwife.  She asked what I thought was wrong.  “I feel like the baby is stuck, it’s not making progress like it should be.”  The midwife checked me and sure enough, little A was turned a little funny trying to come out.  She was able to rotate the baby from 10 to 1 in between contractions.  More pushing and I could tell a huge different.  The baby was moving down.  I leaned back up against Greg and pulled my legs up as far as I could while I pushed.  This position hurt more than squatting but definitely felt more effective so I stayed in this position and pushed as hard as I could.  After a while, I could see and feel my baby’s head.  I was so exhausted and felt like every ounce of strength I had was gone.  Through prayer, God gave me just enough strength to make it through the next push.  Closer and closer we were to meeting our baby.  The joy and excitement was starting to build.  The burning started as my baby started to crown.  It hurt but it wasn’t worse than anything else.  My midwife was providing perineal support to help prevent tearing and applying hot compresses.  Oh, the hot compresses felt like a little bit of heaven.  They didn’t stay hot long though since I was already in the water but the sudden heat and pressure was enough to take the edge off.  They couldn’t keep them coming fast enough.  Poor Christina burned her hands getting them out of the crock pot and to the tub.  The baby had officially crowned and my midwife told me to wait as long as I could before pushing again.  I knew this was critical to keep from ripping so I waited as long as I could.  I could see my baby’s head, jet black hair.  Love already started to flood my heart and an explainable joy was building up in me.  My baby is almost here.  God, give me strength.  My body started to push again and I pushed with it.  With that push my baby’s head was born. The midwife checked for a cord around the baby’s neck.  I asked her if there was one, she smiled and said no.  I then remember her saying, “Greg, come get your baby.”  The moment we had been waiting and praying for was here.  I’m not sure how it all happened since I was already on cloud nine, Greg somehow moved in front of me and someone was now supporting me from behind.  I remember seeing the joy and amazement in Greg’s eyes when he put his hands on his baby’s head.  Here comes the next contraction.  I pushed and out came the shoulders.  I looked down to see Greg and only Greg holding and delivering our baby.  What a powerful sight to see such strong hands holding a baby being born, my husband’s hands holding our baby being born.  I heard the words, “your baby is almost here!  You’ve done it!  Now look at your baby, momma and push.”  With one final joyful push, my baby was born peacefully, in the water, at home into my husband’s loving arms at 11:14pm.  He pulled our baby out of the water and put Little A on my chest and placed a wet towel over us.  It was the most unbelievable moment of my life.  I was holding my baby, my husband was right there.  No bright lights, no one trying to take my baby away from me for tests.  Just the praises of our birth team, my husband, my baby and me.  After a few seconds, I asked my husband what we have.  He pulled the towel back and checked… “it’s a boy!”  I heard our birth team exclaim, “you have a son!”  In that moment, I got to look down at my son and call him by his name for the very first time, Ashton Brody Neil Jamison.  I remember gazing into Greg’s eyes as he looked at me, beaming with pride.  He kissed me ever so lightly as I said “we have a son!”

The midwife listened to him and checked him out while he was still in my arms.  The photographer took pictures.  We waited on the cord and placenta while admiring our baby.  I birthed the placenta and when the cord was done pulsing, Greg and I cut the cord together.  He took the baby as I got out and they wrapped me up in towels.  We crawled in bed.  The midwife checked and I had torn a little, it was a surface tear (1st degree – only skin, doesn’t tear into the tissue or muscle).  It required a few stitches, I think there were 6 total.  She stitched me up and then left us alone as a family while they prepared the herbal bath for Ashton and I.  It was pure bliss.  There we were… Greg, Ashton, and I… laying in bed, as a family, peaceful, at home, safe, healthy and happy not even an hour since our son’s birth.  I wouldn’t have traded that moment in time for the world.  53 hours of labor & 2 ½ hours of pushing later, my son was here.  I’d go through it 100 times for that moment.  Ashton had his first bath with me and he loved every minute of it.  Afterwards, they did the newborn exam.  He was 7lbs 10oz. and 19.5” long with a 14” head and chest.  He was perfect.  My husband was amazing and was all the physical and emotional support I needed.  God answered every prayer and through my weakness, His power, glory, and strength were evident.  My birth team was amazing.  I had done it.  I gave birth at home, in the water, with my husband and birth team.  I had done what so many people criticized us for, what I had been told by several people I couldn’t or shouldn’t do.  I never screamed, never said I couldn’t do it, never wished for medication.  I gave birth at home, naturally, without fear.  God gave me the strength to give birth to my son the way He intended child birth to be.  I am forever thankful to Him for His faithfulness, to my husband for his unconditional love and support, and to my birth team for every roll they played.  It was the most spiritual, empowering, and magical moment of my life.  I can’t wait to do it all again.